I have become so used to talking to myself that sometimes I expect others around me to know what’s in my head too. And sometimes what I say comes out distorted from what I really wanted to say.

Which also leads me to believe that if I were to die a sudden death, there would be no one that would know completely what I had wanted to do for myself or for my life, unless they found my diary.

There will be hardly any “Yes, I’m sure. She would have wanted that” at my wake/funeral

maybe more like “We think this is the best for her”.

The only few times I’ve ever really talked to someone about my philosophy is with my dad, and my sis. Even then, I get too excited inside to finally have someone to share my thoughts with that I end up completely stuck. Haven’t even found a peer who shares the same philosophical thoughts as I do.

If only John Cage was my friend.

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